Connection

Hello,

Do you ever feel that people in the world just don't connect? It's different when you are small, people talk to you all the time, they ask about your day or how school is or what you want to be when you grow up. But now you are an empty face, another number on a computer file somewhere, an extra in the play that is your own life. Because people don't connect like they used to.

I remember making friends with people by just getting into conversation with them, if someone smiled at me I might say hello, or if they dropped something I might pick it up and start chatting, it was so easy then. Now when I see my friends they have to stop our conversations to reply to a text, or instead of working in silence they have to fill up any gaps with checking their Facebook, always communicating with the friends that aren't their about the things they aren't doing with the ones that are. People are so lonely in a crowd and is it really surprising when people talk without saying anything and smile without meaning it. We aren't connecting.

So how do you connect, maybe smile at someone just because you are happy, or ask the person serving you about their day. You could have a deep and meaningful conversation with a stranger on a bus or train or just open yourself up to really listening to other people. Take something someone you don't know very well says, and take it to heart. Because for all you know they could have the answer to all your problems if only you will listen.

Everyone has a story, at least one story and taking the time to find it out can be a rewarding and exciting experience. It is hard to learn about all those people who have no one when you are surrounded by friends or strangers, it is hard to be lonely when you are never alone.

But people can be wonderful, everyday ordinary human beings do extraordinary things and people can and do connect every second, connecting is about really talking to someone, or really understanding them, and it is not so hard if you try.

I hope this inspires at least one person to open up when usually they wouldn't, or be kind when usually they would sit by and stay quiet. this is the meaning of life, the best of what being human means and there are so many things to celebrate today, so maybe concentrate on the good rather than the bad, put down the latest newspaper and pick up some good news, put down your phone and pick up a conversation, put down your excuses and get on with living the things you dream.

As John Lennon said, "Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans."

http://positivenews.org.uk/

http://quotesnsmiles.com/quotes/50-dalai-lama-quotes/

https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=doctor+who+the+best+of+humanity+quote&biw=1440&bih=783&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0CAcQ_AUoAmoVChMIipXX8cKwxwIVQkAaCh0CpQFb

http://www.thehappinessinstitute.com/blog/article.aspx?c=3&a=2747

bye.

Young Peoples Liberation (I want to make this a 'thing')

Hello people,

Who feels like they completely fit into the world? I don't think I know anybody who could honestly say they always do, but the people who have most trouble fitting in are, surprise, surprise, the teenagers of the world.

Being a teenager in this society isn't easy, anyone could tell you that.

"Oh, she's just going through a difficult time at the moment." "You know that awkward age..." "Ah... teenagers, what can I say?"

Sound familiar? Yeah, me too.

The problem, as I see it, is that children, especially teenagers, are not trusted or respected in this all powerful western society.

"He's just a kid/teenager. what could he know?" "I'm doing what's best for you dear." "You are too young to know what you want."

Grace Llewellyn an ex teacher turned revolutionary writer for young people everywhere has this to say about teenage freedom in her book 'The teenage liberation handbook, how to quit school and get a real life and education'...

"If you've ever read any anthropology, you've noticed that primal cultures simmer up all of their mystery and magic and power and ask their teenagers to drink deeply."

"All over the planet, traditional cultures provide various ritual experiences to adolescents, bringing them into contact with the deepest parts of themselves and their heritage."

"There is danger and pain as well as Beauty and exultation, in some of these traditional ways of initiating people into adulthood."

"What do you get instead of vision? You get school - and all the blind passivity and grey monotone it trains into you. For an institution to ask you, during some of your most magical years, to sit still and be good and read quietly for six or more hours each day is barely thinkable, let alone tolerable."

So we children are being restricted by social convention to ignore our imagination and creativity as "silly" and "childish" as if childish is a bad thing. If you have read this blog before you probably already know that I am an unschooled free thinking teenager with a lot of passion on this subject but if not let me just warn you that I may be a little biased towards the rightful freedom of young people across the globe. (just warning you now :)

It is important to remember that children are literally little people. They are not stupid or particularly naïve, the only thing they lack is time and that makes them just as reliable, trustworthy and responsible as adults.

I'm not saying that we should start letting seven year olds make laws but be realistic, if we treated an adult the way people treat children every day it would be a violation of their human rights.

This brilliant article from 'The Natural Child Project' illustrates my point with accuracy and perfection and I hope you will read it with occasional enthusiastic whispered Yes's as I did.

http://www.naturalchild.org/pam_leo/respect.html

An extract says:

"We often make the mistake of thinking that since children are smaller than we are and have less information and experience than we do, that they don't have all the same feelings we do. But they do. The same kind of treatment that would embarrass, humiliate or hurt us, embarrasses, humiliates and hurts children. When human beings are being hurt emotionally, our thinking shuts down. When our thinking is shut down we cannot learn, we can only record. When adults try to "teach" children by criticizing, lecturing, shaming, ridiculing, giving orders, screaming, threatening and hitting, it shuts down their thinking so they can't learn what the adult intended to teach them to do or not to do; they can only record what is being modelled.

The most common criticism I hear of young people these days is, "They don't treat anyone or anything with respect." Ironically, adults often try to teach children to be respectful by treating them disrespectfully. Children learn respect or disrespect from how we treat them and how we treat each other. When children live with disrespect, they learn disrespect. We can teach respect only by modelling treating each other with respect and by giving children the same respect we expect."

They recommend asking yourself:

"Would I say those words
to my good friend?"

'The Natural Child Project' website is a useful resource for information on 'Young Peoples Liberation' as I like to call it.

http://www.naturalchild.org/

Attachment parenting is another great resource to learn more about this

http://www.attachmentparenting.org/

This is an explanation of attachment parenting:

http://www.thehappyhippiehomemaker.com/p/attachment-parenting.html

The idea that a person has no control over the simplest things, when they go to the toilet, when and what they eat, what they wear, what they do, how they learn and even the people who control them, at least the rest of us have some semblance of a democracy.

I know many bright under 18 year olds who would love to vote (myself included) Many intelligent and self aware eight, nine and ten year olds who have a lot to say about the basic running of their lives. You only need to walk out onto the street to see small people who obviously didn't get a choice about what they are wearing, doing, and when they can play.

I'm not saying adults should encourage anarchy or neglect, I'm saying they should encourage creativity, responsibility and respect.

Lead from the front, do as you would be done by and lead by example are great ways of saying the same thing... Show your child respect and I can tell you from personal experience we will respond in kind. Show your child love and peace and friendship and they will not grow to disrespect or disregard you and your advice, we will respond in kind. Show your child the love and closeness you wish your mother had shown you and they, we, will respond to that as you might have.

Above all remember that we are individual people, just as adults are and we may do things you disagree with but short of jumping off cliffs and playing with wires, let us make our own mistakes and judge us for our ability to move beyond them, as you might an adult. Let us play all day because it is the gift of childhood that you will be giving us and in return we will love you as you cannot imagine being loved by anyone older than an infant entirely dependant on you for it's life.

I write this as not only a plea to other parents but as a tribute to my own who practiced these methods and who practice them still. I do respect my parents, they are my guides, my mentors, my givers of advice, my carers, my partners and my best friends.

(Thanks Mum and Dad)

I believe that the practice of successful parenting depends almost entirely on the practice of successful restraint. It is the biggest, hardest and yet most valuable gift you can give any child, I can tell you from my own experience, they will thank you for it every day.

It's not going to be all happy bunnies, especially not at first, but the results have been so effective for us and so many others, I cannot imagine my life any other way.

Autonomy and unschooling do not have to be done with home education, they can be done out of school hours too and I hope one day they will be, for everyone.

These books and websites will help you on your mission, should you choose to accept it...

http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Teenage-Liberation-Handbook-Education/dp/1862041040 (My personal favourite!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OkOQhXhsIE (A TED talk about being seventeen and how we are so easily disrespected and held back!)

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Free-Range-Education-Home-Works-x/dp/1903458072 (The book that changed my mothers mind about home education.)

http://www.naturalchild.org/ (and just for luck 'The Natural Child Project' one more time to remind you of the best website for you to begin.)

http://www.amazon.com/The-Gentle-Art-Communicating-Kids/dp/0471039969 (Parenting book about respecting children)

http://www.summerhillschool.co.uk/ (website for Summerhill school)

http://www.attachmentparenting.co.uk/ (Attachment parenting blog site)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2jCYyXVQQPI (Youtube video with Mayim Bialik on attachment parenting)


Thank you to the parents and adults everywhere who already treat young people with respect, and thanks Mum and Dad for corrupting me into a free thinking individual. What a monster you have created.

Bye.

Peacful Revoloution... This Is Our Secret Weapon

Hi,

I'm writing to you now from a very different world to the one I wrote from last time. My last post was written from a world of hope and possibility, I really believed the world might change for the better on the 7th of May. But it didn't and so here we are again.

But the thing is, I still believe the world will change. I am surrounded by the tutting and sighing of people who think the election was our last chance to change the course that this government had set us on. I am surrounded by pessimists. Who are changing their minds.

Because we can still change the world, and people are. There are hundreds of  Facebook groups and information on surviving the new issues that arise with the Tories back in power. People are pulling together and just like so many people have been saying (Russell Brand, Ghandi and my mum for starters) The world will change from the bottom up, a peaceful revelation of ordinary people living freely and equally and giving the minority of rich/unfair ruling people no chance but to live and work along side everyone else. Controversial, isn't it?

Equality has meant many things to many different people, but to me it means that every sentient creature on and off of our planet has a fair chance. OK so we naturally kill tiny germs on our bodies by just living, and yes people step on ants without meaning to every day. But to think of all creatures as living feeling things gives us our humanity, it gives us a conscience and a heart.

Living in peace with our environment has been going on for centuries but most of the people who do it have often been middle class wannabe hippy types :) Fortunately for them, if you wannabe a hippy, that is what you tend to become and look at us, the whole world is full of hippies. People who just want to survive in peace and be left alone to be happy. It's what everyone wants and if that makes us hippies then I'm happy to be a hippy, better that than the alternative.

So maybe this is the darkness before the dawn, and maybe some kind of change or revolution is coming. If so, count me in.

keeping positive is all we really can do for now, but equality will prevail, through pure will power if nothing else. I'm in a wonderful mood today and this is our secret weapon... positivity!

This is only my view of the world of course and disagreements are encouraged.

all the best for the revolution, and all my love to everyone (even those few people I dislike)

Because nothing will ruin my good mood today, please keep yours.

Vote

Hello,

I am 17 and I cannot vote. This frustrates me a lot and so I do what I can to support the things I believe in and if I could vote I know exactly who I would vote for.

This Video explains the voting system and why it is a bad, bad idea to vote tactically...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s7tWHJfhiyo

So if voting for the party you think might win and will be slightly less disastrous than whatever alternative you are voting against is pointless then what can you do, right?

So who do you actually hope gets in?

Some people really wish they could vote for someone else like Simon Cowell or Russell Brand. and many people won't vote at all.

 

So what about me... Well I didn't look at what party I liked, their campaigns are more like beauty contests than political debates so I looked at their policies, the things that will really count when they get in.

 

https://voteforpolicies.org.uk/survey/1/select-issues

 

This survey explains each set of policies and you can find out which party would support your interests the best without being swayed by the glamour of political campaigns.

 

So the end result is that voting for the party you really believe in, regardless of whether or not that party will get in is the best way of making a difference and getting your voice heard.

 

For my own choice, I think this video explains why I will support the party I have chosen...

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPgS7p40ERg

 

I wish I could vote, if I did I would vote Green. :)

 

What will you vote? Will you vote? Don't forget to register.

 

Good Luck...

 

bye.

Teenagers

Hello,

I will be turning 17 in just a few weeks and I have realised that I am nearly an adult! This is something my friends at school are very familiar with, they are told continually that they will be all grown up soon and they will need qualifications and jobs to survive the 'world of adulthood'.

But I am home educated, so I have been around adults and I have had time to get to know them so the transition from child to adult has been easier. Easier but not easy. When I turned about 14 I was almost ready to be treated as an adult but not ready to leave the comfort of my home. I read recently that teenagers need their parents as much as babies but in a different way, and that mixed with the desire to be a grown up is a difficult and confusing place to be. This is an interesting piece of research on teenagers.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/science/science-news/11410483/Revealed-the-science-behind-teenage-laziness.html

The thing about being a teenager is that you are in transition, like a caterpillar in a cocoon you are half child and half grown up with no middle ground to stand on. My parents have always understood my rebelliousness and because they have helped me by supporting my crazy schemes and letting me learn the hard way (they have also been honest and upfront with their advice and opinions about the things I wanted to do.) I have never had a whole lot to rebel against.

I wanted to die my hair bright red and wear trainers everyday instead of school shoes when I was thirteen. I was fresh out of school and enjoying my newfound freedom. My mother cut and died my hair and I bought shiny new trainers.

Three years later and I have a job, a new haircut (and colour) and the way I dress is as different as the way I think. but I don't wear crazy clothes or dress inappropriately or say insensitive things at the wrong moment, because I have learned (sometimes the hard way) how to exist in the world, partly through watching my parents and partly through trial and error. I am not a social pariah or a recluse, but neither do I have hundreds of friends. I am pretty much normal.

So for anyone who is a teen or a parent of a teen I just wanted to say don't worry. chances are you will turn into an ordinary adult one day, most people do.

But we can always hope that you turn out weird and interesting.

bye. 

He For She

Hi,

Everyone is talking about Emma Watsons He for She campaign speech at the UN.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j-xqeTvD3as

Celebrities are getting involved with people like David Tennant tweeting and campaigning. And I think that's great.

One thing that stood out to me in Emma Watsons speech was the fact she said that feminism is an unpopular word, and it is something I have thought about for a while. I thought humanism would be a better word or simply equality. They both mean the same thing as feminism. The word feminism implies that it is all about being female but it really isn't. Women fought for the right to be equal to men because they were (and in some cases still are) considered less than men for a long time. But feminism has never just been about women, it is about gender equality, and that means the freedom to be whatever you want and not be restricted by your gender.

I am a feminist!

it is a hard thing for anyone, women or men, to say. But it is true for so many people who didn't even know it yet. Caitlin Moran talks about feminism in her book 'How To Be A Woman'.

“We need to reclaim the word 'feminism'. We need the word 'feminism' back real bad. When statistics come in saying that only 29% of American women would describe themselves as feminist - and only 42% of British women - I used to think, What do you think feminism IS, ladies? What part of 'liberation for women' is not for you? Is it freedom to vote? The right not to be owned by the man you marry? The campaign for equal pay? 'Vogue' by Madonna? Jeans? Did all that good shit GET ON YOUR NERVES? Or were you just DRUNK AT THE TIME OF THE SURVEY?”

So as you can see being a feminist literally means that you want women to be able to own their own bodies.

The most important part of the speech was of course the part about men being feminists.
The person who taught me most about feminism and also the person who probably made me a feminist, is my Dad. He is the most passionate feminist I know. My Mum is also a feminist but for some reason he was the one I talked to about this. I learned from both of them from a very young age that girls and boys are pretty much the same apart from some anatomy and I believed it until I went to school.
 Much as I would like to quote 'How To Be A Woman' in it's entirety right now I won't, but I recommend it to anyone who isn't sure if they are a feminist or not. Also anything written by Gloria Steinem.

If you look back over this blog you will see that I have written a lot of posts about feminism and I have mentioned that I am one a lot. I don't know what people think when I say that but I know that everyone's reaction seems to be big. Either you hate it or you love it or you passionately disagree with commenting. Whatever it is everyone has an opinion and  no one wants to go unheard.

I started this blog because I felt like just another voice in a large crowd but as I get older I start to see more and more voices saying what I want to say, and sometimes, you just have to support them. Sometimes just one voice can make the biggest difference. Emma Watson has just proved that.

So I am asking all three of the people who will probably actually ever see this blog to support Emma Watson and her speech, and her campaign. Write a post like this or just tweet #HeForShe because support is what this cause needs and every voice in this crowd is important, every new feminist and everyone who cares plays a part.

It could be just a passing comment or just one random tweet that changes the world, but the more random tweets and passing comments there are, the more likely the world is to get changed.

Bye.
      

Decisions

Hi,

I always start by saying hi, I think it is just polite. It is quite important to start off well I think. I write a lot, it is a good way to vent frustration and express things, by things I mean feelings and by feelings I mean everything that's going on in my mind. Thoughts and feelings and things. Expressing yourself is important and people do it all the time. The art you like, the music you listen to, the wallpaper on your phone and what you wear. People personalise everything, because they can. Because it gives them the illusion of control.

I have a very small bedroom, actually my bedroom is half a room I share with my two sister with a curtain (an old tie dyed double sheet) across the middle to separate me and give me my own space. So privacy is very important to me and I keep the curtain closed a lot. I think it all boils down to this.

'If you take away a man's important decisions, he will render important, the decisions he is able to make.'

I don't know who said this and apart from the slightly sexist fact that it is about 'men' not 'people' it is a great quote. Words of wisdom!

The decisions most people I know render important really aren't, so what does that say about the decisions we are able to make. Maybe people are obsessed with personalising everything because what colour their phone is, is the most important decision they can make. What if we could make more important decisions? What then?

A child who complains because they want to eat something different for dinner, they do it because they don't have a choice and they want one. Children don't get a lot of choices, the adults do everything for them. So if you offer that same child three different foods that they like, they will be happy with their choice usually.

So if you take a child who wants to play football all day, or draw all day. But instead they have to go to school. That child could become difficult because the little control they have has been taken away. So they kick up a fuss about their homework, or their lunchbox, or anything.

Someone with a personalised pair of trainers is no better. They can't control anything in their life so they control the exact shade of red they want or the 'Game Of Thrones' themed pictures on their shoes.

What if people were given choices? If they were aloud to have a say in the running of the country of the work schedule or anything. If they had control of the important decisions they wouldn't care so much about their shoes.

And maybe, it works the other way too. If they weren't distracted by trivial decisions like what wallpaper they wanted on their phone, maybe they would notice that they don't have control over anything important. That we don't have control over anything important.

Bye.

Be Honest - Be Yourself?

Hi,

I am so sick of lying!

Advertisers telling the world that you need their product, musicians singing about things they don't understand or even mean. And the worst lies of all, the lies the public tell themselves.

I want to be individual, I want to just be myself.

Oh how I hate the phrase "Be Yourself" not because of what it means, but because of what it has come to mean.

When you look at it you think it says. "Be whoever you want and be honest with the world about who you are!" Yea, it doesn't mean that. It means, "Be relaxed and talk about normal things. you don't want people to think your trying too hard"

If I were to actually wander around being myself, I would be strolling down the high street wearing long black trench coats any day of the week, or listening to Bach on my iPod and telling people about Greenpeace. (Ok so I do have Bach on my iPod, I do talk about Greenpeace sometimes and I down two trench coats, but I don't  make a big deal out of it.)

I wish the world would say "BE YOURSLEF" and mean it. or at least say "BE THE SAME AS EVERYONE ELSE" and not lie to us.

I consider myself a feminist for two reasons, 1) I am a free woman. (Mostly) 2) I want to stay that way. But even people who aren't feminists (aka those who think women should be owned by men) tell the truth about it. I won't broadcast the fact I am a feminist but if you asked me I would tell you the truth.
And that is how everything should be, people should be aloud to be weird. Even if people are quiet about it they should be able to tell people they are weird when they ask.    

I like to think of people who consider themselves weird but try to act normal as 'closet weirdo's' the best news is that everyone is at least a bit weird, so everyone can be a closet weirdo.

But in the words of everyone who has ever had a secret, Stop Hiding!

If you believe all women are stupid, then at least come out and say it. By the same token don't blame me if women beat you up for being honest.
If you are a militant feminist, let me hear it. We need more people telling the truth, even if their truth is a load of rubbish.

Next time you see someone say, Be Yourself, do it. actually do it. don't sit around rolling your eyes and looking at that untrue ridicules phrase, laugh in their faces and be weird, be a downright freak if you want to. Do something properly silly. But do it because it is you! Do something true, please. We need more truth in the world. Next time someone says "Are you OK" give them a full report. Or when someone asks what you have been doing lately, tell them truthfully.

Be honest when you post your status on Facebook , even if you just decide not to Photoshop your new profile picture. Or not to say you have had a good day when actually only the afternoon was ok.

Please, please tell people the truth, because people lie too much, and I'm not even sure what to believe any more.

So, be weird, tell the truth and do something spontaneous.

Bye.

Adressing Elephants

Hi,

There is an elephant in the room when it comes to women. And I want to address it.

Yes, every month women bleed. From their wombs. (Yes I'm getting straight to the point.)

Everyone from Joan of Arc and Gloria Steinem to Katy Perry and Kate Middleton have periods.

So if everyone has them, why then is it such an elephant in the room?
Because 1) Men don't have them. 2) It's gory, and 3) People consider it too personal.

How is it personal to bleed? when a man cuts his finger does he hide it behind his back and pretend it didn't happen. No. When a woman is bleeding into her knickers she hides it though. Yes it is a bathroom thing, like poo and wee and farts. All of these are not considered conversation for polite society.

So let's all talk about periods and get everyone used to it. In Victorian times saying legs was rude, now anyone can say it. Legs, legs, legs. Talking about periods can soon join the ranks of subjects like legs and colds and being depressed. things that all have, or are, becoming easier to talk about in polite society.

Let's start with a basic explanation for those of you who don't know.

Every 20 something days a woman bleeds from her vagina. The bleeding can last from two days of light spotting and panty liners to a full week of gore. when a girl starts her periods, they aren't regular they can pop up at any moment and can last from days to months. when her periods even out it gets easier.

Some girls are in constant pain throughout there entire period, some get occasional cramps and some get away without pain at all.
But I haven't even started on being premenstrual yet.

Most people have heard of PMS (Premenstrual syndrome) and most know at least the basics of what it is.

Everyone's period's and PMS experiences are different so I will explain from my point of view:

My PMS lasts a full week. I get these symptoms:

• Massive zits all over my face.
• Greasy hair.
• Mood swings.
• Extreme Tiredness. 
• Getting irritable.
• Getting emotional.
• Craving food.
• Aching muscles.
• Sensitive boobs.
• Clumsiness.
• Slow mindedness
• Feeling dirty, like you need an extra shower.

So for me PMS sucks! Let's talk about the blood.

Yes it takes some time to get used to the blood when you start your periods. Yes some girls get anaemic. but the blood, for many girls, is not the worst part.
The blood is the part that stops us wearing white jeans, but it is the tiredness that stops us roller-skating.

The symptoms of PMS are similar to the symptoms of having a period except for me the tiredness is worse.

I feel pretty much constantly exhausted when I have my period.

The other symptoms are the same as PMS plus blood loss symptoms, so you need to drink more water. Really having your period is like being ill. You have to eat and drink more healthily to keep the blood loss from effecting you, you sleep more to regain the energy being used up, and you feel like curling into a ball and lying on your bed crying for the duration of your menstrual cycle.

I feel like all my energy is being drained into my knickers.

So yes, having your period effects your life a lot. you can't just decide to go swimming, you can't do anything too tiring or exercise too extravagantly. (Well you probably could but like I said, it feels the same as being ill, and who wants to go out hiking or partying when their ill?)

So being able to talk about your period, or even get people to give you a little slack when you are menstruating would be nice. It would only be practical really. But no, women can't talk about that. Why?

Obviously the three reasons I gave you earlier, but here's what other people think:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2111037/Women-bring-menstruation-closet-say-researchers.html

Here is what some would consider the authority on this subject:

http://www.haverford.edu/psych/ddavis/p109g/steinem.menstruate.html

and men's point of view:

http://meninmenstruation.wordpress.com/2012/04/09/menstruation-through-the-eyes-of-a-typical-male/

https://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080511230757AAa2ZnA

https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100211070537AAbjU45

So having a period has a massive effect on our lives and yet we can't even discuss it. We don't even have the freedom to say, "Sorry if I wasn't on top of my game today, I was premenstrual." Or just get an extra bathroom break when we have our periods.

So don't let this elephant carry on holding us back. address the elephant and talk about your period with people, make it an accepted topic, and most of all don't be afraid to explain when it has effected your work or social life.

Bye.

 

Depression, My Guide.

Hi,

Depression is a subject I have talked about before but today I would like to look at it from a different point of view.

(Warning! This post is completely opinion and point of view. The only facts are the fact that every opinion belongs to a real person. Depression is subjective. Everyone suffers in a different way, depression is a term which covers many different types of the feeling described.)

How to get out of depression.

I say 'get out of' because it really is like a black hole you need to climb from and this post will hopefully help people who have depression and those who want to understand it.

Often something meant to snap them out of it could have the opposite effect and something you were worried about might be just the thing to make them better.

Depression changes people.
Don't expect a person to be the same after a depression than they were before.

The thing that 'beats depression' could be a passing comment or a song or video. It could be anything.
You can't end someone's depression for them, they have to do it themselves.

What is it like to be depressed?

I don't think this question is asked enough. It is the most important question to ask yourself because it helps to show you how much being depressed really effects your life. the first rule to solving a problem is to understand it better.

Being depressed makes you feel, not sadness, but apathy, to everything. You feel separated from the world. it is like looking through sunglasses on a cloudy day; out of focus and dark.
Here is what other people think and feel about depression.

http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/depression.html

'A lot of people don't realise that depression is an illness. I don't wish it on anyone, but if they would know how it feels, I swear they would think twice before they just shrug it.' Jonathan Davis.

 

People often don't admit or even believe they are depressed until the last minute.

 

"I'm fine I'm just going through a bad patch." would be something a depressed person might say.

 

Being depressed makes you feel as though, instead of having a veil over your mind, the veil has been lifted and you are seeing the truth.

 

How does knowing you have depression make you feel?

 

Guilty, you feel like there should have been something you could have done to prevent this.

You feel bad that you are effecting other people around you.

 

you feel as if you can hide the fact you are depressed so it only effects you.

 

• Alone
• Useless
• Ashamed
• Ugly
• Pointless
• Aimless
• Self-conscious
• Like all of your emotions have been turned down like a volume control. All you feel is cold hard reality.

How does it feel to know someone with depression?

I interviewed, my Mother who knows about dealing with people who have depression.

Me: How does it feel to know someone with depression?

Mum: You worry about them, you feel helpless. It's frustrating, it's not a logical thing you know? You feel so helpless because there's nothing you can say, or do.

Me: What do you do for that person?

Mum: listen. It's difficult because there is so little you can do. Be there and support them in whatever they do that you think is positive. Try to be positive to them, try and remind them of all the good things, and how much you like, love them.

Me: what is the worst part?

Mum: seeing somebody you love suffer and not being able to do anything about it.

Me: What would you say to other people who know someone with depression?

Mum: Encourage them to get help, professional help. Try and be patient with them. And try and be enthusiastic with their recovery. Because it's when they say 'yea ok I need help' that's when they'll need you.

Me: What would you say to people with depression?

Mum: There isn't any one thing you can say to people because there are so many types of depression. don't be afraid to ask for help from your friends because they'll want to help. The most important thing is to fess up and say, 'yea I have depression' and to not be afraid to ask them for help.

Inspiration to get better.

Remember that there are colours in the world, and however much you believe that you can't handle the world, you can. We were built to be able to handle the world.

Ships can live their life in the harbour but they were built to sail the seas.

Bye.

Expand!

Hi, did you miss me?

I haven't posted in over six months and I am sorry. But today's post is a little different!
Some time ago I posted a blog post called, "InkyFingers VS LessInkyFingers" Link Below:

http://utterlyinvisibleteengirl.blogspot.co.uk/2013/07/inkyfingers-vs-lessinkyfingers.html

In this post, I explained why I was changing the name of my blog. In this post I will change it again.

The reason I want to change, is because I want to change what I write. I am a very opinionated person who's opinions are not restricted to politics and society. I want to write everything. From now on I hope to expand the subjects I write about to... anything!
If you want me to write about a particular subject leave me a comment and I will see what I can do.

So don't be surprised if you see a lot more posts with a bigger variety of themes from now on.

Keep being angry,

bye!

Veet Advert

Hi,

Veet have just released a new set of adverts:

http://jezebel.com/horrible-new-veet-ads-if-a-lady-has-hair-on-her-legs-1560720940?utm_campaign=socialflow_jezebel_facebook&utm_source=jezebel_facebook&utm_medium=socialflow

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxCHLXQffsg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5vO6MZn4WI

All of these adverts feature women who don't have hairless bodies. Each ad shows a beautiful woman who suddenly reveals that she has less than hairless legs, armpits etc. and therefore cannot be a woman; she turns into a man. This implies that if a woman is not perfectly hairless, then she must be masculine, and therefore not a real woman.

There is a lot of debate as to whether or not the ad really is sexist:

https://shine.yahoo.com/healthy-living/veet-ads-spark-sexist-controversy-174732134.html

Although for a while now, shaving everything on your body if you are a woman has become not only fashionable but normal. The idea that we can't be beautiful and natural, we can only be beautiful or natural, is one of the problems which has made women especially uncomfortable in their own skin. (But has also made women feel that they need the products these adverts sell, or else they won't be good enough)

So as well as being a body image issue, it is also a feminist issue. The idea that all women are hairless or else they are not very feminine, seems to play a big part in this ad. Many women don't shave there whole bodies and yet they are still very feminine. It is demeaning to think that you can not be a real woman unless you are hairless, and yet this ad plays on the insecurities of the many women who worry about being too masculine and not girlie enough.

So, this classy ad plays off the insecurities of women and sells a product to people who worry about the way they look, while helping them feel worse. The nice people at Veet have had this response:

https://www.google.co.uk/#q=veet+ad+response

http://www.cbc.ca/newsblogs/yourcommunity/2014/04/veet-yanks-its-dont-risk-dudeness-advertisements-after-internet-uproar.html

But what do Veet think?

 http://jezebel.com/veet-pulls-stupid-sexist-ads-after-viewer-backlash-1561331561

So, do you think it's sexist?

Good luck throwing your opinion around on this subject.

Bye.
        

WARNING THIS POST MAY BE FEMINIST AND SARCASTIC!

Hi,

This Blog post is all about this link: http://iacknowledge.net/student-takes-on-stereotypes-and-sexism-to-reveal-americas-dress-code-problem/

An American student protested to her head teachers sexist attitude by posting a picture of herself on tumblr and by making public statements about it. Her teacher made comments about the school uniform saying; "Modest is hottest" and "Boys will be boys." A sociologist who supports her says "In thinking about these two phrases specifically, both have many implicit messages. Modest is hottest: The word ‘hot,’ when used to describe an individual’s appearance, clearly has a sexual connotation. I doubt that this is what he intended. But this is precisely the problem—we throw these phrases around without thinking through what we are actually saying. This is what we expect of kids, but not of adults, and especially not adults charged with working directly with young people.” So feminism is still an issue. I wrote a blog post about whether feminism is an issue a little while ago:

 http://utterlyinvisibleteengirl.blogspot.co.uk/2013/11/sorted.html

This girl stood up for her sex because she believes that we still don't have equality. Most feminists don't expect equal treatment for all people, since people are different and some jobs do suite some people better. What they want are equal opportunity's. As Gloria Steinem says women were (and in some cases still are) second class citizens or less.
Of course women's suffrage was not aimed at getting the vote! It was aimed at getting the vote back! As I keep being told by my wonderful father; If you don't keep your eye on the ball, you will loose it! Here is a modern day feminist, (Who is not Malala) : http://agirlcalledjack.com/

   This is about why feminism is still relevant today using robin Thicke as a reference point.   http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/lydia-smith/blurred-lines-feminism_b_3900546.html  

And my customary DIY link. What do you think here is a debate: http://www.debate.org/opinions/is-feminism-still-relevant

The other side of the argument: http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20131203084443AAikOqN

10 reasons we still need feminism: http://listverse.com/2013/03/16/10-reasons-we-still-need-feminism/

But feminists are often seen as weird, crazy and worst of all unnecessary. Feminism in the media, with songs and YouTube videos means that it is slowly becoming more wide spread. here are some examples:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0CazRHB0so

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tC1XtnLRLPM

http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=feminism&sm=3

So yea! As long as people still talk about it and care, feminism seems to be relevant.

feminism seems to be badly named as it implies that it is all about females. It is not, it is about equality.

Happy ranting,

Bye! 

Depression - 5 steps to feeling better. Yay!

Hi,

Many people get depressed in the winter, this can be due to short days, lack of sunlight, the cold, and pretty much anything that happens in winter. Ironically the festive season sees a spike in suicide rates. Depression is surprisingly common and although many people suffer form it in some shape or form many people don't understand it. Despite this if you Google 'depression help' or 'I'm depressed'  then you will find help pages, blogs, YouTube videos and quizzes to help. The NHS have a help page too:

   http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/depression/Pages/Introduction.aspx

The only way to really know if you are depressed is to see a doctor. But often there are many things you can do for yourself. Here is a basic list of things to do if you feel depressed. (Even though being depressed you may not feel like doing anything.)

1. Talk to someone - this is probably the most important thing you can do as it is important to socialise and to have someone to talk to about how you feel.

2. Get physical exercise, preferably everyday. - although this may be the last thing you feel like doing but it will make a massive difference)

3. A little of what you want, can be exactly what you need - Dark chocolate has a little caffeine and it helps boost your serotonin levels. (apparently) (It is also really tasty) eating a little sweet food is fine, but just a little, comfort eating is not a good idea.

4. Do things you enjoy - Have a little fun and get out of the house, it helps, Smiling releases chemicals in your body that make you feel better and so does giving someone a hug.

5. Sometimes you just need to mope - If you need to cry, do it, and if you want to spend a day in front of the TV then do it, but don't over do it.

Basically get well soon. This cheers me up:

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6Sxv-sUYtM

Bye!

Syria and Becoming Youtube.

Hi,

So this blog post will be based on a video from the 12 part YouTube series, Becoming YouTube. the series began in 2012 and the last part is due to come out soon. The series explores YouTube in a funny honest and sometimes scathing way. Becoming YouTube was created by a journalist called Benjamin Cook who was interested in the 'YouTube phenomena'. Here is the video:

   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LhDtjM3I0zw&feature=c4-overview&list=UUR2scj6uM8L1x1nkYTlpFrw

I recommend watching this video before reading the post as it is the basis of what I am saying. I am also really enjoying the series so far, so here is the trailer if you want to watch it from the beginning:

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ttx1yQF2SNM

The point made in this video is that Syria is not like the charity ads and news articles on TV. It is real and not so far away. The video was involved with Oxfam, a charity who help the refugees, Oxfam help many people in poverty around the world.
The problem with Syrian news coverage and charity ads is that, as with all media coverage, it can only show a small slice of what life is like for the refugees. A charity ad only has a few minutes of film and no sound. And a news report tends to show only the 'Newsworthy' bits, the news is the most accurate representation of the Syrian people, but finding all the facts is difficult, especially in the less organised refugee camps. The Becoming YouTube episode seemed like the most full and honest report so far and with the smiling children and more organised camps it seemed to be much closer to home.
The worst part of the Syrian conflict and the part that makes charity's like Oxfam's job harder, is that ordinary people are getting caught up in the war. The refugee camps are often the only place they can go and carrying on is all they can do.

The majority of news reports are either talking about the less organised camps and the refugees in the worst trouble, or the political side of the war. Videos and pictures are being taken to show us the front line and the fighting in Syria, often with a commentary about the politics. But the ordinary people in the camps don't talk about politics they just want to be safe and go home. In meetings all over the world our leaders are discussing whether or not to intervene. But know one knows if that will help the ordinary people.

Here is the video that Benjamin Cook recommended in Becoming YouTube explaining the Syrian crisis (the political side):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exrqMPJ1Bts

And here is another video about Syria:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElRoN-uNli4

An opinion:

http://www.youtube.com/user/SyrianGirlpartisan

And more:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VERXaAy6_yw

And as usual a random news report:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-17258397

and a news which isn't mainstream:

http://www.syrianews.cc/

So my feelings are help the needy and don't fight and eat your 5 a day!

Thanks for listening
Bye!

Whovians and Philosophy

Hi,

Do you think that the things you do and the TV shows you watch have a big effect on the way you see the world? I found a YouTube video about the idea that Doctor Who is a religion:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Csjr8bXvPw

Also how have programs and characters like The Doctor effected individual people?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-WtqAD6kMU

Now I am a big Doctor who fan/ Whovian. so... beware this post will be biased.
Doctor who is a hero and to quote (possibly misquote) head writer Steven Moffat "I think The Doctor would be very surprised to find that he is the main character." So doctor Who is everyone's favourite hero but he hasten just changed the lives of his companions, the dedicated fans have had there life's changed by him too. All about Whovains:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_ibW6a5oFc

So some people live for the doctor while others just enjoy the odd episode. But the point is how does it change your life?
For many geeks, The Doctor stands for being strong and the geeks and weirdoes are the people who will change the world. The Doctor is all about hope. But as it says in the first link the Whoniverse (Doctor Who universe) has a philosophy and a way of looking at the world that sets it apart from other stories and TV. People who watch the show often take on the ideas and theories of Doctor Who as their own, therefore the Doctor has given them a way of looking at the world, a philosophy that looks at the world in a particular way.

Not all TV shows do that although if you think about it everything you watch has some kind of message or a way of seeing things that will effect or change your own. People learn from everything they see and do including watching TV.

What other shows change your views on life? For me Star Trek, and Firefly are good ones as they are Sci-Fi so they are all about the universe and they all have theories about the world that people can take on board as philosophies for their own lives.

Think about what TV, Films, Books and other stories have effected you?

Doctor who for me is not just about the episodes, it is also about the behind the scenes. Doctor who was one of the first BBC shows to be produced by a woman, the theme tune was mostly made by a woman (Delia Derbyshire) and the original director of doctor who was one of the first Indian Directors at the BBC:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Verity_Lambert

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waris_Hussein    

Whovians:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOi3nawBxwE

So Doctor Who has changed my life, I am more hopeful about the future than I used to be, I watch the stars every night before I go to bed, (Although that is more to do with the fact that I like stars!) and I love blue police boxes. But more than that I see the world in a more exciting way and I believe that many of the scientific and philosophical opinions and theories in Doctor Who ether are very possible or at least have a good point.

Bye!

I want to be different and unique just like everyone else - and Questions

Hi,

At some point in everyone's life they have done something that has no other purpose except to make themselves look cooler/more interesting/quirkier. And many people do this every day, playing the newest songs wearing the coolest fashions etc. Being a teenager in 2013 I know all about this. but does everyone do this? many people restrict this kind of behaviour to hipsters and fashion victims. YouTuber Charlie McDonnell said this:

   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYA8cSQB_rA

It is interesting that he doesn't seem to believe that everyone sells out to fit in, only hipsters etc. But Every time he makes a video or uses modern slang he probably thinks about what other people will think of him and acts in a way he believes people will approve of. People do little things to fit in every day, whether it's agreeing with someone when they say they like certain music or watching a TV program just so you can understand what people are talking about when they discuss it. Do you think it's worth it? Just for one nod of approval, or another lie so you can fit in more easily. I am not saying everyone does it all the time but most people must do this at least once in their life, probably a lot more than they think. fitting in is hard even for the most 'normal' people. Vivian Stanshall once said "I want to be different and unique just like every one else." What he probably meant was, everyone says they want to be different but only up to a point. No one wants to be so outrageously weird that pretending to be normal or even acceptably different would be being themselves. In other words no one wants to be so different that being themselves would mean really, really weird. So weird that they wouldn't fit in at all or maybe they think they wouldn't have any friends. This is an older blog post of mine that illustrates this point in more detail.

http://utterlyinvisibleteengirl.blogspot.co.uk/2013/11/why-i-write-this-blog.html

I talk about being different and not fitting in a lot, mostly because I consider myself to be a bit unusual and I have always had trouble fitting in. I am a 15 year old girl who is interested in politics, religion and philosophy and I am basically a geek so being normal has never really been an option. I tried to fit in lots of times. But for me, lying to fit in is worse than being weird, and I am not a very good liar.
Most people have lied to fit in at some point in their lives and admitting it is not easy. But whether or not you decide that lying or being outcast is the easiest or the most important way of living, it is an individual decision.
Obviously not everyone has to work that hard to fit in, to some people that is just the way they work. And that is great, they are lucky, but for me I am stuck being different, and although in the past (and still sometimes now.) I wish I could fit in more easily, I wouldn't have it any other way.
In 'The Invention Of Hugo Cabret' They say that everyone has a place in the world like the cogs of a clock, there are no spare parts everyone has a place, A role if you like. If this is true I don't think mine involves being 'Just like everyone else'.

I will leave you with a question to think about: Where do you fit into the world?

That's all for now.
Bye  

Sorted!

 Hi,

So many people believe that feminism isn't applicable to the modern world. I am a feminist (Not the crazy man hating kind) and I believe that so long as women feel the need to put on makeup instead of just using it to express themselves, and men feel the need to work out just to look the way they think they are expected to look. we have a long way to go. feminism is about being equal. this doesn't mean that women and men should always be treated exactly the same, for example if you want someone to play a character in a film, and the film has more male/female characters in it, your not going to get female/male actors to play the opposite sex just to be equal. that would be silly! the point of feminism is that if a woman and a man go for a job interview then the person that is hired, will only be hired because they are better qualified not because of their sex. there are still glass ceilings and feminism is still an issue. many people believe feminism is a thing of the past with war time suffragette, and women throwing themselves under horses. this is modern day feminism:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHNBGjBtBPg&list=TLKa_BKxuUoKBH8jQ8kE-1MUCs1goZPEYu

And glass ceilings:
  http://metro.co.uk/2013/11/13/the-glass-ceiling-illustrated-in-one-meet-the-staff-web-page-4186032/

So although many women and men think that feminism is Sorted It's not!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LzwcF-Vno14&list=PL7W9rLxGqiophlAXPpyEx-hC31VeyfwHD

So what about the people who are effected by this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P6LjMyg7-ho

Yep so maybe feminism isn't Sorted. The best thing we can do in this situation is to form our own opinions and beliefs! to do this we need all the information. usually I give you the information but today I will just give you the recourse and let you work it out. What if more people actually had an opinion? on anything!

https://www.google.co.uk/#q=sexist+opinions

I hope you can get all opinionated now.
thanks for listening to my rant!
Bye.

Why I Write This Blog

Hi,

Yesterday I discovered that Googling lessinkyfingers brings my blog up at the top of the page! How cool is that. If you go on Google images then you can see pictures I have used on this blog. I was really surprised how professional it looked. Although I don't update my blog every week or write perfect posts I do put a lot of work into this and I am glad that people are interested in what I have to say. But at the same time many adults don't take me seriously. I am 15 and I am home educated. This means that many 'grown ups' probably find what I have to say silly (because of my age) uneducated (Because I am home educated) and they don't care what I think because I am not even old enough to vote yet. I don't know that's what they think but I have been dismissed because of at least one of these things in the past. I'm not saying it happens all the time or that all adults do this, but it happens enough for it to make a difference. My opinion and my views are not valued or considered just because I am young and Home educated. This happens a lot to people all over the world. people don't listen because they are: young/old/black/white/well educated/uneducated/just different. My Mum sent me this link:

  http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2013/10/30/12-year-old-suffragette-fires-back-at-nc-gov-for-voter-suppression-i-am-not-a-prop/

The girl from this link is frustrated just like me, and being heard is difficult whoever you are. But for people like me, people who don't want to speak to crowds or lead a revolution. People who just want to be heard and to help. We are not getting a voice. I know I refer to Disney a lot when I talk about being who you want to be and doing what you believe in, but in all seriousness this Disney message is a good one. But its not as easy as that. Because however hard people try they will always care what other people think. And being beaten up for being different isn't something you can just 'get on with' so you can be 'true to yourself'. I think that whoever wrote the Disney message about 'Being yourself no matter what.' can't have been that different or ever had to face a class full of other bored 10 year olds and explain why they are vegetarian. But then if you don't fight for what you believe in, there won't be anyone else to do it for you. I also don't believe that everyone has a person inside them who's the 'real you' and all you have to do is be true to yourself and you will be a good person. Sure there are many things people can't change about themselves, but many characteristics are habits. In other words they are breakable and not permanent characteristics.

So yes doing what you believe in is important, of course it is. But being who you are is easier said than done. Especially if you don't know who you are. I don't know who I am, but I know who I want to be. I will work on that.

Thanks for listening to my rant today.
Until the next time!
Bye
 

How People React To Home Education

Hi,
(I haven't done a blog post this personal before, but I have a point I want to make and the best way I can see to make it, is to refer to my personal experience.)

Home education is a very interesting subject, and I have been home educated for almost 5 years now; but accepting home education is difficult for the children, the parents and everyone else. To explain home education and my views on this I will give you a link to an earlier blog post I wrote, I think this is my best post yet since this is an important subject and writing this I felt I have had my say on home ed.

http://utterlyinvisibleteengirl.blogspot.co.uk/2013/05/5-reasons-to-love-home-education-or-not.html

So just 5 years ago being home educated was the last thing I wanted. When my Mum first asked me about it I said, NO WAY! I thought that it would mean being constantly supervised and made to work extra hard. My Mum on the other hand first found out about home ed. when my cousins started it. They are very structured but my auntie thought it was great, and persuaded my parents, to read a book called Free Range Education. The link to the book:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Free-Range-Education-Home-Works/dp/1903458072

When my Dad bought the book my Mum read it and was fascinated. She researched the concept of home education until she was sure it was what she wanted for us all. Many of our friends and family have been opposed to the whole idea but because of my Mum we are now home educated and happy about it. My Dad quickly discovered it and soon I was telling all my friends. Some of them were supportive but most of them were unsure and sometimes even mean about it. I was shocked not only at my friends reaction but also the way their parents disapproved and there are still some people today who 'Are not supposed to hang out with me' because I am home schooled.

Without support from the people we knew Mum looked online, and for the first year of our home ed, we spent a lot of time talking to other home educators, swapping advice stories and support. We went to a weekly home education group and our day was reasonably structured as Mum encouraged us to do 'educational' things like workbooks. We watched documentaries and we did basic schedules keeping some sort of routine. The first 2 years were the hardest, Mum threatened to send us back to school a lot and I had nightmares about going back and about the time I spent there. I hadn't realised how stressed I was until I left. My eczema cleared up, I slept better, got ill less and I had more energy and less worries. after 2 years I hardly got any school dreams any more.

The process of  becoming used to autonomous living and de-stressing is called deschooling.
It took us approximately 2 years.

People always judge quickly and I don't mind people disapproving of my education any more, but it is also none of their business how I choose to live my life, and how my Mum decides to educate her children. We haven't had such a bad time as other people, like the people who were really hurt by school or who have had unhelpful authorities and family. One thing I can say for this experience is I found out who my real friends are.

After almost 5 years I can only just now say that I don't feel that I need to constantly defend my education. I feel proud of it almost. I don't tell people I am Home educated when I first meet them, as I want them to judge me for myself not my education but I guess one day I will feel more comfortable with that too. For now I can say that I am happy enough with my life, and confident enough in my judgement and choice in education and lifestyle that I can proudly say 'I am Home Educated' and not feel that I have to justify it. 

I hope many other home educated children (And their parents) can feel comfortable as I do, and I hope people will not hate us because we are different, but research it, and either change their mind and give us a chance, or challenge us with a reasoned argument.

Bye