Connection

Hello,

Do you ever feel that people in the world just don't connect? It's different when you are small, people talk to you all the time, they ask about your day or how school is or what you want to be when you grow up. But now you are an empty face, another number on a computer file somewhere, an extra in the play that is your own life. Because people don't connect like they used to.

I remember making friends with people by just getting into conversation with them, if someone smiled at me I might say hello, or if they dropped something I might pick it up and start chatting, it was so easy then. Now when I see my friends they have to stop our conversations to reply to a text, or instead of working in silence they have to fill up any gaps with checking their Facebook, always communicating with the friends that aren't their about the things they aren't doing with the ones that are. People are so lonely in a crowd and is it really surprising when people talk without saying anything and smile without meaning it. We aren't connecting.

So how do you connect, maybe smile at someone just because you are happy, or ask the person serving you about their day. You could have a deep and meaningful conversation with a stranger on a bus or train or just open yourself up to really listening to other people. Take something someone you don't know very well says, and take it to heart. Because for all you know they could have the answer to all your problems if only you will listen.

Everyone has a story, at least one story and taking the time to find it out can be a rewarding and exciting experience. It is hard to learn about all those people who have no one when you are surrounded by friends or strangers, it is hard to be lonely when you are never alone.

But people can be wonderful, everyday ordinary human beings do extraordinary things and people can and do connect every second, connecting is about really talking to someone, or really understanding them, and it is not so hard if you try.

I hope this inspires at least one person to open up when usually they wouldn't, or be kind when usually they would sit by and stay quiet. this is the meaning of life, the best of what being human means and there are so many things to celebrate today, so maybe concentrate on the good rather than the bad, put down the latest newspaper and pick up some good news, put down your phone and pick up a conversation, put down your excuses and get on with living the things you dream.

As John Lennon said, "Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans."

http://positivenews.org.uk/

http://quotesnsmiles.com/quotes/50-dalai-lama-quotes/

https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=doctor+who+the+best+of+humanity+quote&biw=1440&bih=783&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0CAcQ_AUoAmoVChMIipXX8cKwxwIVQkAaCh0CpQFb

http://www.thehappinessinstitute.com/blog/article.aspx?c=3&a=2747

bye.

Young Peoples Liberation (I want to make this a 'thing')

Hello people,

Who feels like they completely fit into the world? I don't think I know anybody who could honestly say they always do, but the people who have most trouble fitting in are, surprise, surprise, the teenagers of the world.

Being a teenager in this society isn't easy, anyone could tell you that.

"Oh, she's just going through a difficult time at the moment." "You know that awkward age..." "Ah... teenagers, what can I say?"

Sound familiar? Yeah, me too.

The problem, as I see it, is that children, especially teenagers, are not trusted or respected in this all powerful western society.

"He's just a kid/teenager. what could he know?" "I'm doing what's best for you dear." "You are too young to know what you want."

Grace Llewellyn an ex teacher turned revolutionary writer for young people everywhere has this to say about teenage freedom in her book 'The teenage liberation handbook, how to quit school and get a real life and education'...

"If you've ever read any anthropology, you've noticed that primal cultures simmer up all of their mystery and magic and power and ask their teenagers to drink deeply."

"All over the planet, traditional cultures provide various ritual experiences to adolescents, bringing them into contact with the deepest parts of themselves and their heritage."

"There is danger and pain as well as Beauty and exultation, in some of these traditional ways of initiating people into adulthood."

"What do you get instead of vision? You get school - and all the blind passivity and grey monotone it trains into you. For an institution to ask you, during some of your most magical years, to sit still and be good and read quietly for six or more hours each day is barely thinkable, let alone tolerable."

So we children are being restricted by social convention to ignore our imagination and creativity as "silly" and "childish" as if childish is a bad thing. If you have read this blog before you probably already know that I am an unschooled free thinking teenager with a lot of passion on this subject but if not let me just warn you that I may be a little biased towards the rightful freedom of young people across the globe. (just warning you now :)

It is important to remember that children are literally little people. They are not stupid or particularly naïve, the only thing they lack is time and that makes them just as reliable, trustworthy and responsible as adults.

I'm not saying that we should start letting seven year olds make laws but be realistic, if we treated an adult the way people treat children every day it would be a violation of their human rights.

This brilliant article from 'The Natural Child Project' illustrates my point with accuracy and perfection and I hope you will read it with occasional enthusiastic whispered Yes's as I did.

http://www.naturalchild.org/pam_leo/respect.html

An extract says:

"We often make the mistake of thinking that since children are smaller than we are and have less information and experience than we do, that they don't have all the same feelings we do. But they do. The same kind of treatment that would embarrass, humiliate or hurt us, embarrasses, humiliates and hurts children. When human beings are being hurt emotionally, our thinking shuts down. When our thinking is shut down we cannot learn, we can only record. When adults try to "teach" children by criticizing, lecturing, shaming, ridiculing, giving orders, screaming, threatening and hitting, it shuts down their thinking so they can't learn what the adult intended to teach them to do or not to do; they can only record what is being modelled.

The most common criticism I hear of young people these days is, "They don't treat anyone or anything with respect." Ironically, adults often try to teach children to be respectful by treating them disrespectfully. Children learn respect or disrespect from how we treat them and how we treat each other. When children live with disrespect, they learn disrespect. We can teach respect only by modelling treating each other with respect and by giving children the same respect we expect."

They recommend asking yourself:

"Would I say those words
to my good friend?"

'The Natural Child Project' website is a useful resource for information on 'Young Peoples Liberation' as I like to call it.

http://www.naturalchild.org/

Attachment parenting is another great resource to learn more about this

http://www.attachmentparenting.org/

This is an explanation of attachment parenting:

http://www.thehappyhippiehomemaker.com/p/attachment-parenting.html

The idea that a person has no control over the simplest things, when they go to the toilet, when and what they eat, what they wear, what they do, how they learn and even the people who control them, at least the rest of us have some semblance of a democracy.

I know many bright under 18 year olds who would love to vote (myself included) Many intelligent and self aware eight, nine and ten year olds who have a lot to say about the basic running of their lives. You only need to walk out onto the street to see small people who obviously didn't get a choice about what they are wearing, doing, and when they can play.

I'm not saying adults should encourage anarchy or neglect, I'm saying they should encourage creativity, responsibility and respect.

Lead from the front, do as you would be done by and lead by example are great ways of saying the same thing... Show your child respect and I can tell you from personal experience we will respond in kind. Show your child love and peace and friendship and they will not grow to disrespect or disregard you and your advice, we will respond in kind. Show your child the love and closeness you wish your mother had shown you and they, we, will respond to that as you might have.

Above all remember that we are individual people, just as adults are and we may do things you disagree with but short of jumping off cliffs and playing with wires, let us make our own mistakes and judge us for our ability to move beyond them, as you might an adult. Let us play all day because it is the gift of childhood that you will be giving us and in return we will love you as you cannot imagine being loved by anyone older than an infant entirely dependant on you for it's life.

I write this as not only a plea to other parents but as a tribute to my own who practiced these methods and who practice them still. I do respect my parents, they are my guides, my mentors, my givers of advice, my carers, my partners and my best friends.

(Thanks Mum and Dad)

I believe that the practice of successful parenting depends almost entirely on the practice of successful restraint. It is the biggest, hardest and yet most valuable gift you can give any child, I can tell you from my own experience, they will thank you for it every day.

It's not going to be all happy bunnies, especially not at first, but the results have been so effective for us and so many others, I cannot imagine my life any other way.

Autonomy and unschooling do not have to be done with home education, they can be done out of school hours too and I hope one day they will be, for everyone.

These books and websites will help you on your mission, should you choose to accept it...

http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Teenage-Liberation-Handbook-Education/dp/1862041040 (My personal favourite!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OkOQhXhsIE (A TED talk about being seventeen and how we are so easily disrespected and held back!)

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Free-Range-Education-Home-Works-x/dp/1903458072 (The book that changed my mothers mind about home education.)

http://www.naturalchild.org/ (and just for luck 'The Natural Child Project' one more time to remind you of the best website for you to begin.)

http://www.amazon.com/The-Gentle-Art-Communicating-Kids/dp/0471039969 (Parenting book about respecting children)

http://www.summerhillschool.co.uk/ (website for Summerhill school)

http://www.attachmentparenting.co.uk/ (Attachment parenting blog site)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2jCYyXVQQPI (Youtube video with Mayim Bialik on attachment parenting)


Thank you to the parents and adults everywhere who already treat young people with respect, and thanks Mum and Dad for corrupting me into a free thinking individual. What a monster you have created.

Bye.

Peacful Revoloution... This Is Our Secret Weapon

Hi,

I'm writing to you now from a very different world to the one I wrote from last time. My last post was written from a world of hope and possibility, I really believed the world might change for the better on the 7th of May. But it didn't and so here we are again.

But the thing is, I still believe the world will change. I am surrounded by the tutting and sighing of people who think the election was our last chance to change the course that this government had set us on. I am surrounded by pessimists. Who are changing their minds.

Because we can still change the world, and people are. There are hundreds of  Facebook groups and information on surviving the new issues that arise with the Tories back in power. People are pulling together and just like so many people have been saying (Russell Brand, Ghandi and my mum for starters) The world will change from the bottom up, a peaceful revelation of ordinary people living freely and equally and giving the minority of rich/unfair ruling people no chance but to live and work along side everyone else. Controversial, isn't it?

Equality has meant many things to many different people, but to me it means that every sentient creature on and off of our planet has a fair chance. OK so we naturally kill tiny germs on our bodies by just living, and yes people step on ants without meaning to every day. But to think of all creatures as living feeling things gives us our humanity, it gives us a conscience and a heart.

Living in peace with our environment has been going on for centuries but most of the people who do it have often been middle class wannabe hippy types :) Fortunately for them, if you wannabe a hippy, that is what you tend to become and look at us, the whole world is full of hippies. People who just want to survive in peace and be left alone to be happy. It's what everyone wants and if that makes us hippies then I'm happy to be a hippy, better that than the alternative.

So maybe this is the darkness before the dawn, and maybe some kind of change or revolution is coming. If so, count me in.

keeping positive is all we really can do for now, but equality will prevail, through pure will power if nothing else. I'm in a wonderful mood today and this is our secret weapon... positivity!

This is only my view of the world of course and disagreements are encouraged.

all the best for the revolution, and all my love to everyone (even those few people I dislike)

Because nothing will ruin my good mood today, please keep yours.

Vote

Hello,

I am 17 and I cannot vote. This frustrates me a lot and so I do what I can to support the things I believe in and if I could vote I know exactly who I would vote for.

This Video explains the voting system and why it is a bad, bad idea to vote tactically...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s7tWHJfhiyo

So if voting for the party you think might win and will be slightly less disastrous than whatever alternative you are voting against is pointless then what can you do, right?

So who do you actually hope gets in?

Some people really wish they could vote for someone else like Simon Cowell or Russell Brand. and many people won't vote at all.

 

So what about me... Well I didn't look at what party I liked, their campaigns are more like beauty contests than political debates so I looked at their policies, the things that will really count when they get in.

 

https://voteforpolicies.org.uk/survey/1/select-issues

 

This survey explains each set of policies and you can find out which party would support your interests the best without being swayed by the glamour of political campaigns.

 

So the end result is that voting for the party you really believe in, regardless of whether or not that party will get in is the best way of making a difference and getting your voice heard.

 

For my own choice, I think this video explains why I will support the party I have chosen...

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPgS7p40ERg

 

I wish I could vote, if I did I would vote Green. :)

 

What will you vote? Will you vote? Don't forget to register.

 

Good Luck...

 

bye.

Teenagers

Hello,

I will be turning 17 in just a few weeks and I have realised that I am nearly an adult! This is something my friends at school are very familiar with, they are told continually that they will be all grown up soon and they will need qualifications and jobs to survive the 'world of adulthood'.

But I am home educated, so I have been around adults and I have had time to get to know them so the transition from child to adult has been easier. Easier but not easy. When I turned about 14 I was almost ready to be treated as an adult but not ready to leave the comfort of my home. I read recently that teenagers need their parents as much as babies but in a different way, and that mixed with the desire to be a grown up is a difficult and confusing place to be. This is an interesting piece of research on teenagers.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/science/science-news/11410483/Revealed-the-science-behind-teenage-laziness.html

The thing about being a teenager is that you are in transition, like a caterpillar in a cocoon you are half child and half grown up with no middle ground to stand on. My parents have always understood my rebelliousness and because they have helped me by supporting my crazy schemes and letting me learn the hard way (they have also been honest and upfront with their advice and opinions about the things I wanted to do.) I have never had a whole lot to rebel against.

I wanted to die my hair bright red and wear trainers everyday instead of school shoes when I was thirteen. I was fresh out of school and enjoying my newfound freedom. My mother cut and died my hair and I bought shiny new trainers.

Three years later and I have a job, a new haircut (and colour) and the way I dress is as different as the way I think. but I don't wear crazy clothes or dress inappropriately or say insensitive things at the wrong moment, because I have learned (sometimes the hard way) how to exist in the world, partly through watching my parents and partly through trial and error. I am not a social pariah or a recluse, but neither do I have hundreds of friends. I am pretty much normal.

So for anyone who is a teen or a parent of a teen I just wanted to say don't worry. chances are you will turn into an ordinary adult one day, most people do.

But we can always hope that you turn out weird and interesting.

bye. 

He For She

Hi,

Everyone is talking about Emma Watsons He for She campaign speech at the UN.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j-xqeTvD3as

Celebrities are getting involved with people like David Tennant tweeting and campaigning. And I think that's great.

One thing that stood out to me in Emma Watsons speech was the fact she said that feminism is an unpopular word, and it is something I have thought about for a while. I thought humanism would be a better word or simply equality. They both mean the same thing as feminism. The word feminism implies that it is all about being female but it really isn't. Women fought for the right to be equal to men because they were (and in some cases still are) considered less than men for a long time. But feminism has never just been about women, it is about gender equality, and that means the freedom to be whatever you want and not be restricted by your gender.

I am a feminist!

it is a hard thing for anyone, women or men, to say. But it is true for so many people who didn't even know it yet. Caitlin Moran talks about feminism in her book 'How To Be A Woman'.

“We need to reclaim the word 'feminism'. We need the word 'feminism' back real bad. When statistics come in saying that only 29% of American women would describe themselves as feminist - and only 42% of British women - I used to think, What do you think feminism IS, ladies? What part of 'liberation for women' is not for you? Is it freedom to vote? The right not to be owned by the man you marry? The campaign for equal pay? 'Vogue' by Madonna? Jeans? Did all that good shit GET ON YOUR NERVES? Or were you just DRUNK AT THE TIME OF THE SURVEY?”

So as you can see being a feminist literally means that you want women to be able to own their own bodies.

The most important part of the speech was of course the part about men being feminists.
The person who taught me most about feminism and also the person who probably made me a feminist, is my Dad. He is the most passionate feminist I know. My Mum is also a feminist but for some reason he was the one I talked to about this. I learned from both of them from a very young age that girls and boys are pretty much the same apart from some anatomy and I believed it until I went to school.
 Much as I would like to quote 'How To Be A Woman' in it's entirety right now I won't, but I recommend it to anyone who isn't sure if they are a feminist or not. Also anything written by Gloria Steinem.

If you look back over this blog you will see that I have written a lot of posts about feminism and I have mentioned that I am one a lot. I don't know what people think when I say that but I know that everyone's reaction seems to be big. Either you hate it or you love it or you passionately disagree with commenting. Whatever it is everyone has an opinion and  no one wants to go unheard.

I started this blog because I felt like just another voice in a large crowd but as I get older I start to see more and more voices saying what I want to say, and sometimes, you just have to support them. Sometimes just one voice can make the biggest difference. Emma Watson has just proved that.

So I am asking all three of the people who will probably actually ever see this blog to support Emma Watson and her speech, and her campaign. Write a post like this or just tweet #HeForShe because support is what this cause needs and every voice in this crowd is important, every new feminist and everyone who cares plays a part.

It could be just a passing comment or just one random tweet that changes the world, but the more random tweets and passing comments there are, the more likely the world is to get changed.

Bye.
      

Decisions

Hi,

I always start by saying hi, I think it is just polite. It is quite important to start off well I think. I write a lot, it is a good way to vent frustration and express things, by things I mean feelings and by feelings I mean everything that's going on in my mind. Thoughts and feelings and things. Expressing yourself is important and people do it all the time. The art you like, the music you listen to, the wallpaper on your phone and what you wear. People personalise everything, because they can. Because it gives them the illusion of control.

I have a very small bedroom, actually my bedroom is half a room I share with my two sister with a curtain (an old tie dyed double sheet) across the middle to separate me and give me my own space. So privacy is very important to me and I keep the curtain closed a lot. I think it all boils down to this.

'If you take away a man's important decisions, he will render important, the decisions he is able to make.'

I don't know who said this and apart from the slightly sexist fact that it is about 'men' not 'people' it is a great quote. Words of wisdom!

The decisions most people I know render important really aren't, so what does that say about the decisions we are able to make. Maybe people are obsessed with personalising everything because what colour their phone is, is the most important decision they can make. What if we could make more important decisions? What then?

A child who complains because they want to eat something different for dinner, they do it because they don't have a choice and they want one. Children don't get a lot of choices, the adults do everything for them. So if you offer that same child three different foods that they like, they will be happy with their choice usually.

So if you take a child who wants to play football all day, or draw all day. But instead they have to go to school. That child could become difficult because the little control they have has been taken away. So they kick up a fuss about their homework, or their lunchbox, or anything.

Someone with a personalised pair of trainers is no better. They can't control anything in their life so they control the exact shade of red they want or the 'Game Of Thrones' themed pictures on their shoes.

What if people were given choices? If they were aloud to have a say in the running of the country of the work schedule or anything. If they had control of the important decisions they wouldn't care so much about their shoes.

And maybe, it works the other way too. If they weren't distracted by trivial decisions like what wallpaper they wanted on their phone, maybe they would notice that they don't have control over anything important. That we don't have control over anything important.

Bye.